How my emotional eating began at 13

A black pair of riding boots was the origin of my long journey of eating disorders.

I belonged to a horseback riding stable, where many kids were really good and I practiced with them for competitions.

At the age of 13, I was skinny, but had bigger calves than other riders around.  One day, my instructors made fun of me having a hard time getting into my new leather boots, and said “You are the worst rider anyway, so do something about the calves at least!”......

It was also around the time I started feeling insecure about my body. 
It was also around the time I discovered that I didn’t want to compete, but didn’t know how to say it to everyone.  The rest of the riders were grabbing all the prizes and I felt like I "needed to want" the same.  My heart wasn't in the competitions, hence; no good results for many times. I started to feel like...

“I’m just a burden”
“I’m not worthy, I’m not good enough”

I felt like I created a big dark hole in my heart, and I turned to food.  I did it because it was a quick fix to feel better for a bit, and I didn’t know a better way, but needed an outlet to move on.  I went on many diets, but failed and failed. I was STUCK. I was in a DEEP vicious cycle. I wanted to get out so bad, but just didn’t know how. 

Thankfully, after 10+ years of various kinds of eating disorders, I realized that it wasn’t the food that I needed to focus on.  It was what IIN* call “Primary Food (relationships, career, physical activity, spirituality) I needed to take care of.
*IIN=Institute for Integrative Nutrition

I was eating for unmet needs and "hungry" emotions.  I needed to feed what they truly needed - self compassion and love, not food.

Do you feel that you’re stuck with unhealthy eating habits?  Feeling like food is controlling your life? Feeling like a failure not having a strong will power (trust me, it’s not about that at all!)?

Feel free to contact me to talk about your struggles and help you break the cycles, gently in a safe and loving environment… 

Much love,
Kanna

Kanna Laird
I’m a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and Registered Holistic Nutritionist who has intensively studied Emotional Eating Psychology.  I have recovered eating disorders and emotional eating, and helping others do the same. I offer a deep compassion and love while guiding you to increase confidence in you and showing you  abundant hope and possibilities to change.