I live in Kirkland, at the heart of pandemic, and wow...it was different this time than all the other viruses I’ve heard/lived through. 

We were very careful from the beginning as I had other info from Japan, and my parents who are in their 70s are with us here.  We’ve kept our kids from school days before they finally decided to close. We stopped going to our Yoga studio and cafes. We’ve isolated ourselves and stuck together, full house with 6 people.  It was quite a stressful shift for me, who was used to having a quiet space 8+ hours/day, but now I have a lot less stress and am still enjoying all sorts of healthy food with pure joy.

So, here I am sharing some ideas that have been working for me to keep the stress low (high stress weakens your immunity!) and not turning to food.

1). Block off a 15 min slot to yourself daily (if it means getting up earlier, it’s worth it) and write down/type up all the stressors.

2). Find out what you can do...

If you’re trying to lose weight but emotional eating always gets in the way, I have a question for you.

Do you NEED to be on a diet all the time so that you feel “safe” and “under control” (while it’s working out for you)?

Or, are you sick of tired with all the diets so much that by seeing/hearing “diet” want to make you rebel?

I was both. I had believed that I needed a diet (AKA “Rigid Rules”) to follow to lose weight. But nothing worked. The more I did, the more I gained. I trusted all those diets and gave my 100% commitments, energy, money and time for them, but they betrayed me. They repeatedly did that to me. I was so lost. I got angry and felt disappointed in me many many times. I started repelling. I ate all the “I-can’t-eat-this-food”. I binged and binged. And felt awful and so hopeless.

Can you relate? Connect with me if you want to talk about ways how I break the vicious diet cycle and...

We tend to focus on WHAT we eat, but HOW we eat is also very important.

We wouldn't really put all 24 Oreos on a plate and spent 20 minutes at a dining table for truly indulging them, rather gorge them in from the bag in 5 minutes in your room....at least it was my case.

So today, I have a challenge for you.
Put one meal (or snack) you are to eat on a plate, nicely display with a placemat, add a candle or flowers if possible (just grab some from the street or park, lol), use knife and fork if the food is supposed to be eaten with them. Maybe put down your cell phone and play calming music, like jazz or Spanish guitar!

It doesn't matter what the food is to me at this moment. If they need to be Oreos, put them nicely on your favorite plate, and sit at a dining table, and chew 20 times instead of swallowing. ENJOY them.

By doing this, it will makes a huge difference on your soul satisfaction level.

Remember, whatever the food is, it's ok.
You don’t need to pretend that you are...

My parents didn’t recognize me after gaining about 50lbs.

I attended a high school for a year as an exchange student in the U.S.
It was those days with no internet and international calls were crazy expensive. So, I wrote some letters to my parents occasionally but I don’t think I included any photos.

A year passed and I was super excited to see my parents back at Narita airport, Japan. I saw them, I’m waving frantically but they were giving me some frown faces. I thought..that’s odd...

So, I ran to them and gave a big hug. They finally recognized that it was their daughter waving and hugging them!

My over the top excitement instantly became a huge embarrassment.
I lived with the embarrassment, the body shame, too long. I should have asked for help, I should have focused on my inner beauty, but couldn’t.
I shouldn’t have valued others’ values and opinions but that’s all it mattered back then.
Cultural ideals and norms totally won over...

No, you don’t need to feel deprived anymore.

There’s so many, soooo many nutritious and delicious foods you can enjoy while trying to break free from emotional eating.

I will NEVER EVER ask you to diet and restrict your food. Because I know it will only backfire at 9pm tonight.

I’m so proud of you trusting a diet giving a 100% go, followed by another, and another...but, did they end up giving you extra weights and stealing your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth? 

This is why adding in works rather than taking away to start overcoming emotional eating.  Start adding delicious smoothie, whole-foods, healthy and fun looking salad!  High quality dark chocolate (cacao 70%+).  Also start adding more joy from non-food sources like relationships, career, dating, parenting, exercising, movements, hobby, community, spirituality and many more!

Once you add so many 'nutrition-rich-things' in your life, you'll start craving less and less of junk food...

“Are you a supermodel? White?   Well, then at least, naturally blond?
If not, come back when you’re - otherwise your opinions/knowledge/research/passions don’t matter…”

These were the typical comments I often got in Japan when I called the authorities and influencers about stopping diet culture and creating a safe space for emotional eaters when I became a registered holistic nutritionist back in 2007.

For a long time, being able to openly talk about diets and body images,  I needed to be a supermodel (not even close, I’m 5’2” and shrinking!), Caucasian (the only part it’s white is probably teeth, but not even), or blond (well, I could dye and color my hair, but that would look weird on me).

Those “requirements” in Japan felt so hard to break ...and still is.

I’m really passionate about ending diet culture and unhealthy messages toward health from the media, even if they are from my favorite...

One of my best friends from elementary passed away a few days ago - when I received the news, my heart started beating fast for sadness, pain, fear, anxiety, and…..panic. The death felt so close and real to me, and I knew I had to sit with these emotions and go through them, instead of suppressing/avoiding them, like I used to do with food.

This time, my coping mechanism was journaling, and so grateful for it.

I write two journal books everyday.

In the first journal, I'd write about;
a) 5 grateful things (I was for sure very grateful to be healthy and alive after the devastating news)
b) write about my 10 dreams repeatedly with the sentences as if they have already happened. It is very helpful to keep the highest vibes going and keep moving forward.


The second journal is to throw any thoughts/feelings, but I always start with 3 wins from the day before to practice gratitude, including something very small like (“I scooped my cat’s poo!”).

Then, some sentences...

“Keep trying!  Keep moving forward!”

We hear these supposedly positive messages all the time. I use them a lot to myself, kids, friends and clients a lot, too.

However, there are times those positive messages can be overwhelming, and make people exhausted for for achieving goals.

I was feeling absolutely swamped this morning with hundreds of things to do in 2 hours, thousands of things to do in a day, millions of things to do in a week. Just by thinking about them left me powerless and super stressed. I could not focus on a thing and could not keep going.

This is when I know I need to be kind to myself and pause everything (I used to push and push AND PUSH by snacking unnecessarily food...anyone?).

I gave myself a 30 minutes in nature, sat with all the overwhelming emotions, digested and absorbed them. I felt much better and decided to work on one “absolutely need to be done by noon today”. I gained clarity and I even had a chance to post this.

Sitting...

A black pair of riding boots was the origin of my long journey of eating disorders.

I belonged to a horseback riding stable, where many kids were really good and I practiced with them for competitions.

At the age of 13, I was skinny, but had bigger calves than other riders around.  One day, my instructors made fun of me having a hard time getting into my new leather boots, and said “You are the worst rider anyway, so do something about the calves at least!”......

It was also around the time I started feeling insecure about my body. 
It was also around the time I discovered that I didn’t want to compete, but didn’t know how to say it to everyone.  The rest of the riders were grabbing all the prizes and I felt like I "needed to want" the same.  My heart wasn't in the competitions, hence; no good results for many times. I started to feel like...

“I’m just a burden”
“I’m not worthy, I’m not good...